Ep 1: How to live in harmony with your partner in mid-life

This first episode of Putting the Men Into Menopause addresses the issues of modern day men and women living together. How can we live with each other in harmony rather than it feeling like a battle of who is the most tired/stressed out and full of resentment.

This episode is just 40 minutes, please listen or read the transcription and let me know what value you got from it. I'd also love to know what else you would like help with during this mid life stage.

Join the conversation over on Instagram @puttingthemeninmenopause and register to be the first to hear about new content and my upcoming workshops https://www.superchargedclub.co.uk/puttingthemenintomenopause

Show Transcript:

Emma Fullwood (00:03): Welcome to putting men in menopause. A really interesting thing is I have been delaying this because I wanted an all singing, all dancing. You know, I am Emma Fullwood and this is what I do with music playing in the BA background, et cetera. And this perfectionism and I decided this morning as I finished my morning workout and actually was reduced to tears over something, which I'm gonna share with you, which will hopefully, or will really resonate. And I thought, you know what, this is what I need to share. You know, I don't need this fancy music and I don't need all these notes and it to be really perfect. What I need to share today is raw it's in my mind. And it's what I see. Men and women struggling with all the time as a coach that supports women.

Emma Fullwood (00:58): Mainly I've started working with a few men recently. It's the same thing that keeps coming up time and time again. And today I was reduced to tears because I was actually thinking about my own childhood and actually thinking about my parents and their happiness and how their kind of arguments affected me. Now they weren't arguing all the time and maybe my mom is watching this. She'll be shouting at us. You had a great childhood. Yes, mom. Yes, dad. I had an amazing, amazing childhood. And I, you know, had, well, it was amazing. I had great parents, so I didn't have a bad upbringing at all. And you may be thinking, what the hell has this got to do with menopause? I've tuned in to understand what para menopause is. And for me, para menopause is a midlife awakening. Yes, we can have symptoms and I'm gonna come into that into the other podcast.

Emma Fullwood (02:03): I wanna start this very, very different to maybe what normal podcasts talk about menopause and because it's a midlife awakening, I really believe it can be AWI life awakening for men as well. Okay. We've all heard of he's having a midlife crisis. Well, maybe you are, maybe you are at the same time as your partner is in per menopause or menopause. And at the same time as your daughters are going through their periods on that note, I also do period coaching for parents to support their young girls and also help their young sons understand what a girl goes through when she's just 10 to 14 years old, normally like, wow. These changes in our body happen so young. I've got a 10 year old boy and my sister started her periods at 10. I can't imagine my 10 year old boy deep having to deal with that.

Emma Fullwood (03:00): Right? So maybe you are a man listening to this and you can go back to when you were 10 years old and what you were doing. And just imagine for a moment, if all of a sudden you bled for quite heavily, for seven days every month and the swimming that you loved, or the dancing that you loved, you know, everything ha everything changed all of a sudden. So just go back to that and just honor that every single girl in the world between normally 10 and 16 years old goes through this, can you imagine that? So on that note, I'm gonna welcome all men to this podcast. Maybe you are a man interested in women's health. Hello. I love you. I love you for being here and spending this time. Maybe you are a woman that is interested in what I'm saying to men about menopause.

Emma Fullwood (03:55): I love you. Thank you for being here. I am Emma Fullwood Instagram at the underscore, Emma Fullwood. If you wanna follow me on follow me on social media, as well as at putting men in menopause. So I think this is a time, a brilliant time in the world where we are the chosen ones to actually change how we support women's bodies. And as you are listening to this you have been chosen because you are here to actually change how the next generation live. Okay? So how our sons and daughters, if you have them or nieces and nephews actually start living together as a man and woman. So this podcast is going to be life changing. It's so much deeper than the symptoms of para menopause, menopause. What are the symptoms? You can Google that everybody's talking about, that I actually on this PA podcast, podcast, podcast, wanna give you ideas, wanna give you support.

Emma Fullwood (05:03): And I want to first off say this podcast came about from my partner and my friend's partners actually really struggling to know what to do to support their women and support women that they were are working with during this time. Okay. It was like all of a sudden, wow, what is this? What what's going on? What's everybody talking about? So I'm gonna retract. I'm gonna retract back to why I cried after my exercise session today, I do 15 minutes exercise every morning. And women enjoy me on Facebook. Actually, sometimes they join with their kids, their dogs, and often they join with their partners as well. Nobody can see you exercise. Everyone can just see me and it's 15 minutes every single day. And it is, it is beautiful way to exercise where we are. Not all or nothing.

Emma Fullwood (06:01): We're not starting stopping. We're not doing hardcore exercise for one day a week, and then not going back, cuz we've injured ourselves for two or three weeks. So 15 minutes every single day. And after this 15 minute session, I started to talk about I always do a mindset at the end and this one came about my, my dad who's actually ill at the moment. And I said, he's ill because you know, people are asking what's wrong with him. And I don't really wanna go into that, but it's basically old age and lack of self care. Okay. Lack of self care. He has drank and smoked pretty much all his life. He's worked really, really hard, ran a very successful business. He has paid for our holidays, our ski trips, our school ski trips. He has, you know, we've got four bedroom detached house with a, you know, a garage and a car.

Emma Fullwood (06:54): We go on holidays. We had a dog, you know, on the outside we had absolutely everything, but on the inside, my dad worked, okay. My dad worked now you may be a woman listening to this and say, well, yeah, I work as well. I work to support the house. Great, fantastic. That's brilliant. And I celebrate you. Maybe you are a man resonating with this. Maybe you don't have a four bedroom detached house. I know I live in Brighton in the UK and there's no way that we would have a four bedroom detached house with a garage in Brighton. we maybe have a a, what you call it a beach chat. We all be living in a beach chat, but you know, he did really, really well. And he, he worked really, really hard and he worked hard, so hard that he was so stressed by working hard and he loved his job running his own carpet business which is still successful today.

Emma Fullwood (07:55): But the way that he he let go of his stress was drinking and smoking. And on a weekend it was more, it was like that party, that party life, where you work all week you come home, you know, you have beer to distress. And then on a weekend you know, they would, they would take us down the quarry bank, labor club and drink some more. So I can't, you know, they couldn't afford to drink as, as much as we can actually afford to drink now. And the shops weren't open all the time. Like they are now to get the alcohol. So it wasn't 24 hours 24 hour petrol stations, you know, where you can actually buy alcohol. I mean, what the hell is that about? But anyway, you know, and there weren't cafes that you could buy alcohol in and there weren't, I've got a shop over the road from me, which you know, is open practically all day where I can buy alcohol from.

Emma Fullwood (08:53): So I know in the recent lockdown, a lot of people have been drinking more. The stress levels have led us to drink and maybe smoke more or maybe eat more. Okay. Maybe it's food for you. Maybe it's big bags of ke bell chips or big boxes of chocolates on a night, whatever share bags, you're eating, share bags of M and Ms when they should be a share bag for the family. So basically whatever it is, he didn't look after himself. He yet he supported for the family. Okay. Financially supported for the family. And he did amazing my mom. Okay. They lived together a marriage. My mom also supported the family. Okay. She worked part-time she worked for my dad when I was little, she worked part-time. And the rest of the time she was cooking, cleaning, sew in sequence, on my dance costume, sorting our social calendar out.

Emma Fullwood (09:49): You know, she did everything else. everything. Okay. Absolutely. Everything. My dad went to work. He did that bit brought in the money. My mom did everything else. Now we could have the argument of, you know my dad brought in more money than my mom's part-time job. My mom's part-time job was actually to keep to give her kind of pocket money and to actually make sure that me and my sister could do the dancing, the horse riding, you know, whatever the hobbies were. That's her money went on that. Right? So we've got two people here working extremely hard. Got it. Maybe while listening to this, as I said, as a man working hard and as a woman working hard, maybe you are the man doing the job of what I've described as my mom does. And maybe you are the woman doing the job that, you know, the, the more full time work that I've just described that my dad does.

Emma Fullwood (10:46): Or maybe you are both doing full time work to keep everything going, to keep the house, going to keep the kids in their shoes and to be able to do their hobbies and to be able to have a nice garden and to be able to go on holidays, et cetera. So maybe you are both working full time. We know that running a house is a fulltime job. Okay. It is a full-time job. I don't need to go into what is involved in running a house, but a top tip, if you know that you aren't particularly communicating well with your partner at the moment. And this is there's, there's reason I'm going into my mom and dad's story. There's a reason stick with this because what I saw from my mom and dad growing up was two people working, God damn hard that really weren't communicating with each other.

Emma Fullwood (11:44): And by this, I mean, there would be times when I could feel my mom's tension in her body. And this tension would be a feeling that my dad wasn't putting his weights. Okay. And this would lead to moments of slamming doors of saying, I'm fine. I do everything. I'm fine. I do everything. And then this would boil up two, three weeks later into a huge, wow. Now when I say, wow, my mom and dad didn't, you know, there was no hitting, there was no abuse or anything. It was just a very, it was a wow. We all know what a wow is. But actually my mom had had feelings that she needed support that she wasn't fine. You know, for two or three weeks before this route went RA. Yeah. We all know. I think we can all resonate, man, or woman listening to this.

Emma Fullwood (12:46): What happens, you know, and maybe my dad said something like, what have you done today? okay. Maybe he's come in the door. And he, you know, he's feeling like he's walking on eggshells. He's got, you know, a wife cooking tea who doesn't look very happy. He's got two daughters, maybe they're on their periods, also slamming doors and you know, the dog's barking. He needs a walk, et cetera. He's had a real stressful day at work. He feels absolutely drained. Something's gone wrong at work. And he just wants to scream and he just wants to shout. And he walks into this chaos with the dog barking, the kids unhappy the woman she's had a real hard day as well, doing everything and maybe who walks in and he doesn't know what to say. So he says the first thing, maybe he gets this off.

Emma Fullwood (13:39): This is what his dad did when he came in from work. And he actually says, what have you done all day? Which is just a statement, right? Just a question. But because of the resentment that has built up and, and we, and, and my mom hadn't communicated her needs previously. Like we could be talking four, five days previously or weeks previously with, I'm fine. This statement of what have you done all day actually triggers the hell of, out of her and she doesn't respond with, I feel whatever. I'm exhausted, you know, or maybe like I'm exhausted, but looking at you, you look exhausted all day. And actually I need to tell you something. And I know that you are saying this from a place of curiosity about what we've done all day, or maybe you are saying it because you don't know what else to say.

Emma Fullwood (14:35): I don't know, but really can you not say that statement anymore? It grinds me, you know, it grinds me OK. And notice the way that I have used those words that I didn't say you me feel bad. You make me feel crap when you say those kind of words. And the way that my mom would've reacted with, what do you mean? And what have I done all day? I've cooked. I've cleaned. Yeah. And that would've got my dad's back up because he's coming in and he just wants to know what have you done today? Right? What have you done today? He's but she feels actually criticized. And there's something within her, this criticism that may actually stem from years and years and years, and years and years ago, where she felt criticized and, and felt pain within her body. So this criticism that my dad is saying is then triggering her.

Emma Fullwood (15:34): This trigger makes her react, not respond. So react is RA, right? Like like a crocodile snapping. And my dad is thinking, oh my God, what the hell is going on? I only asked her what she'd done all day. Like, she's a crazy woman. this resonates with you because this is what I see in my everyday, you know, coaching women. And like, as I say now, recently, coaching men for a happier midlife a karma, more peaceful more supported marriage. So I see it and I hear it all the time. And I also heard it when I was growing up. So, you know, very briefly there, I kind of like said what my mom could have said of been truthful. But not, oh, I bloody hate it. When you say, what have I done all day, da da again, you are gonna get a reaction from, from your partner here because he's gonna, you know, think, well, I only asked, I only asked, so it's kind of like, you know, like, let's just acknowledge both of you here.

Emma Fullwood (16:41): Both of you are working extremely hard in whatever you are doing. Both of you are going through the challenges. And both of you look utterly exhausted, so let's acknowledge, right. And we can literally change. I had one client who said, oh my God, my partner has been coming back and saying those exact words for years and years and years. And every time they make me grind my teeth and my shoulders come up to my neck and I'm like, my tummy comes in and I'm like, and just simply using the words that I gave her. It doesn't say it anymore. Like how amazing two people dancing together, two people being truthful to each other and communicating each other. Okay. So like, I use the words, like, let's do something like I call it criticism sandwich and it's kind of like acknowledging what the other person is doing.

Emma Fullwood (17:41): Great. Oh my God. Like, I feel really overwhelmed at the minute cooking the tea and the, and the dogs barking and looking at you, like, I can see that on your face, have you had a hard day today or something like that. So we are acknowledging each other. You are acknowledging the work that you are doing and also that, that he or she is doing. Okay. And then you can go to, like, I've been really, really, really busy I'm kicking tea at the moment. I know that that statement was just a, something to ask because maybe you don't know what to ask. Like, you know, like let's have a conversation about this. After, after we've had tea after we've had tea tonight I'm juggling X, Y, Z at the moment. I, you know, I know that you've just come back in from work.

Emma Fullwood (18:31): You look extremely tired. I need X, Y, Z. So wondering if you could have a quick shower, if you always has a shower or maybe it's like, I'm wondering if you could support me with, you know, just X, Y, Z and have your shower afterwards this evening, right? Maybe you won't get the reaction that you want, the response that you want. So go in this without ex assuming or expecting anything, but it's just, you do it once. And a client came to me and said, well, I tried that Emma, and it didn't work. I'm like, well, we, we tried it once. Okay. We tried it once. And maybe there's years and years of resentment and pain and lack of communication in both of you. Okay. So it's gonna take more than just doing it once, but we never try, never to point the finger all the time with you, or, you know, actually, if there's something that annoys you about your partner, let's start being truthful.

Emma Fullwood (19:34): So what has this got to do with para menopause? I hear you say. And what does this got to do with your ill dad? Okay. I'm coming to that. Don't worry. I'm coming to that. So I cry a day with my ill dad because like I said, he is worked really, really hard. So has my mom, but you've got two people in retirement at the moment. One of them quite ill, like I said, my dad, my, my mom isn't as ill. And she has looked after herself better than my dad, but this retirement that we all talk about. Okay. They only actually went in retirement in lockdown. They're in their mid to late seventies, but they said, oh, I just can't imagine being retired. Like just me and your dad living together. We we'd drive each other nuts.

Emma Fullwood (20:26): And as lovely as it is to have separate lives and separate hobbies, we also need to think, wow, we work all our lives for this retirement. And then when it comes to this retirement, we are two people that don't actually get on that don't actually understand each other that, that, that are living with years and years and years of stuff, we could call it resentment. We could call it whatever that has never been really talked about. And we're actually two people that have raised kids and dogs that have raised kids. And now we're like, oh, well this is the retirement that we've both been working for. And actually we don't know each other. We're not actually particularly happy. And there's years and years and years of resentment of, you know, things that could have been better. Okay. And then if we think about it as from a child's point of view, we teach our children what life is about.

Emma Fullwood (21:36): So maybe you've got children, I've got a, a lot of friends at the moment that children are choosing their GCSEs. And we are choosing them to work, teaching them to work hard, get a good job. Then it's like, they do that. Then it's all about marriage, right? Get married, get married. You're gonna have children. What house are you gonna buy? And then before we know it, they are, our kids are 40, 45 years old. If you all listen to this podcast, I'm 45 years old. And our kids are living the exact life that we are living. Okay. And maybe they're in a house with their partner and they are bitching off their partner for not doing X, Y, Z, or not understanding what they're going through. Or maybe they are a woman that feels like they do everything. Or maybe they are a man that feels UN you know, that feels rejected by their partner, or doesn't feel that they don't know what to do.

Emma Fullwood (22:35): They don't know what to do to keep everybody happy. They're bringing in the money. Like, why isn't the house happy? Why isn't she happy? What can I do to make her happy? And actually there's a woman thinking if only he would do this, then I would feel better about him. And there's a man thinking if only she would do this, then I would feel better. And quite often with men and women, it is, she wants to talk and he wants sex. Okay. And, and that is, you know, that's it, I hear that all the time. Again, like he says, if, if we have more sex, then we would be more connected. And she's thinking if he understood me more, if he talked more, then we'd have more sex. Okay. So this is what the whole podcast is gonna be about. So I cried this morning for not only my ill dad, but I cried for all the men and women living together that I know that are my clients or that are my friends, or are my parents friends who are living like this and who are in midlife or going into retirement.

Emma Fullwood (23:47): And they are living like two people battling with each other instead of dancing with each other. Okay. Not understanding the art of communication, not knowing what to do again, you know, like, like just two people living together. One of my clients said that she feels like she's living on crumbs. She gets the last of everything. Another client said that her partner said this isn't a marriage. This is two housemates passing in the night. And we are doing all of this to keep our kids happy. And what our kids see is unhappiness. What our kids see is actually how hard living together is. And it is hard. It is hard to live with different human beings with different needs. Okay. But what we can do is I call it the ripple effect and what we can do is show our children how to communicate rather than, you know, hold in this resentment and hold in this pain. So, and also, you know, going back to, to looking at men and women I did a similar session five years ago on a, on a close Facebook group. And I was in tears saying that women are coming to me. Absolutely depleted, absolutely depleted. And you know, I see at the time I only kind of saw woman's side of it. Now I see the man's side of it as well, who are highly stressed as well. And we are doing all this for what? For what?

Emma Fullwood (25:40): So it's a really interesting thing that my little boy said to me just the other day, mommy, what are your hobbies, mommy? What do you enjoy doing mommy? I don't see you doing any hobbies that you love on that note. I actually do a lot of stuff. and yeah, but he was kind of like saying, you know, I see you work hard, mommy, and I see you look after the house, but he, he, you know, he actually does. I, we are actually doing, I'm going paddle boarding today. So that's, that's a hobby of mine. Now the son's coming out while he's doing his weight board. But yes, our kids need to see us as adults enjoying themselves together as a couple. Okay. I'm actually I don't actually live with anybody. Me and my little boys are dad split up in quite a few years ago now.

Emma Fullwood (26:37): But our children need to see that life isn't about working hard. Okay. And, and that also life is about coming together and communicating as a couple as a family and, you know, not slamming the cupboards when somebody's annoying us. And not saying I'm fine, but really not being fine because as children, we sense that as children, we feel that. And what I learned as a little girl was not that it's bad to rock the boat. It's, it's bad to communicate. It's bad to say what I need because it, it comes up into a row and then it comes up into a row and a confrontation. And then we don't speak for three or four days. So in my relationships growing up, I put up, shut up. I said, I was fine. I, you know, carried this resentment. I didn't say what I wanted to say and believe you, me a divorce, a separation costs a hell of a lot of money.

Emma Fullwood (27:45): It costs a lot of money, a lot more money than hiring a mentor, a coach like me, or a relationship therapist. Right. It does, it costs a lot of money. So if things aren't going good in our relationship, then it is really easy and simple. Like I just mentioned about what have you done all day? It's really easy and simple to come back to one of the things that I do with my, my couples and in particular with when I'm working one to one with my ladies is actually a dream day hypnosis. And everybody is like, I don't, I can't have a dream day. Like how an earth can I have a dream day? But it's really interesting when couples do that together, because they start to talk about what their needs are, what is missing from their life stuff that they have never said before, never said that they wanna do before.

Emma Fullwood (28:39): And obviously when you've got two people that are battling with who's working the hardest who's bringing in more money, who's the most tired who was up in the night, who's doing all the house chores, you know, all that logistics of running a house. Then if somebody says, you know, I wanna go on a weekend retreat then often the other one is not that supported because they also they're like, well, I wanna do that. Oh, it's okay for you. You do that. I can't do that. You know? And it, and it ends up to be a battle instead of, you know, what I'm doing with, with my clients is, you know, talking that as, as, as a couple of saying what your needs are, and this I'm a body transformation coach. So I'm a weight loss specialist, as well as pelvic flooring, core specialist and many women come to me trying to lose weight.

Emma Fullwood (29:29): And the thing that is blocking them is often, you know, well, it's, I've had a real busy, stressful day. And then, you know, we often talk about relationships and stuff and they know what healthy eating is. Of course they do. Like, we know what that is, but they're not getting the results because at the end of their hectic busy day, they really feel like they want a reward. And actually this reward with deliver Ruby so available. And like I said, this big snap bags of crisps and chocolate, et cetera, their reward is to sit and watch Netflix on the phone with their partner. So they've got Netflix on both on their phone, chomping through this food or maybe alcohol. And that comes back to my dad being unwell and is unwell because he hasn't looked after himself because the stresses of life.

Emma Fullwood (30:23): So can you see, like I've done a full circle here. So bringing men and women to communicate better is what I do to understand each other's needs is what I do. And you know, when we start living in a home that is happier, okay, won't always be happy. Won't always be positive. It won't always be running light clockwork, but when we live in a home where we communicate as adults better, and remember that we haven't been taught this at school, and generally weren't taught this by our parents. Then actually we show our young, our young children how we can deal with conflict, how we can deal with resentment, how we can deal with criticism, how we can deal with feelings of judgment. Okay. A feeling of judgment came up with one of my clients the other day, whose partner said, you're always on your phone.

Emma Fullwood (31:21): And she went in for the attack. It triggered her and she went in for the attack. Right. So I love, you know, kind of helping couples communicate better. Okay. On that note, what has this got to do with perimenopause, Emma? Everything. Okay. So the symptoms of perimenopause are very similar to the symptoms of adrenal fatigue and very similar to the symptoms of burnout. So I see women all the time, definitely with they are in their para menopause. I'm not saying that they aren't, I really struggle to get my words out. You know, there's, there's the brain fog. Like I said, this podcast was put together because of my, my partner, like wanting to understand para menopause more, and I'm gonna be coming into that in the weeks that we're actually gonna be interviewing my partner about how he copes, how he copes and how he feels when I'm having heightened symptoms.

Emma Fullwood (32:23): I'm gonna come AC you know, come through this in the podcast to come. So I hope you keep what listening. But per menopause symptoms are very similar to burnout. Okay. And what I'm hearing flashed around is while I'm in para menopause, I'm in para menopause, you know, I'm put in our weight cause I'm in para menopause. Actually, when I look, when I take, when I look at their foods and their lifestyle their weight gain ladies' weight gain isn't necessarily from the para menopause and, and HRT or whatever, it's actually from lifestyle from feeling disconnected from their body, from feeling disconnected, resentment from their partner, from, you know, filling their cup with food or alcohol filling their emotions up because there's this disconnection okay. From their body and also from their partner. And so that can be one of the things that, that we work on.

Emma Fullwood (33:24): Another symptom of para menopause is brain fog. Okay. and you know, brain fog is very different from overwhelm and being busy. Like when I'm busy, I forget things. I put keys in the fridge. I feel anxiety, you know, that is actually busy. That is overwhelmed. That is doing too much. And if we are a woman in a fulltime job starting to go through the signs of para menopause, and when I say fulltime job, whether it's a fulltime housewife or a full time in work, and both of you are trying to juggle that the kids and life, you know, then is that brain fog actually para menopause, or is that actually doing too much juggling too much, never slowing down. And you may be saying, well, yeah, but that's my life. I need to work full time to keep the house, you know, like this is what I've gotta do.

Emma Fullwood (34:27): So I've just gotta put up with it and look for a job to look for a drug to support me through para menopause. And actually that is the wrong way of looking at it because actually I like to look at women's lives and go, okay, you've got to work and you've got to do X, Y, Z, but actually what's happening in your home life, you know, how are you going to bed? What meditation, what nourishment are you doing? What downtime do you have? Are you on your phone before bed? Are you watching things on Netflix that are, are sad or, or depressing or quite deep, do you always have your phone in your hand, you know, answering the school mom's WhatsApp and, and doing this and doing that and have a busy social calendar. And, you know, so that's why para menopause is a midlife awakening, I believe for both men and women.

Emma Fullwood (35:19): So, you know, when I, I said looking at the symptoms of para menopause, it's often showing as many symptoms, or it can be a adrenal fatigue, fatigue, burnout. And I'm also seeing that in men at the moment as well. And going back to my dad, you know, an escapism, you know, the alcohol was an escapism. It's what his dad had done. And sadly his dad died young, much younger than my dad with, you know, alcohol. And it's quite interesting how we follow our parents. Like I said, because I was a functioning alcoholic. Guess what? After a busy day, my downtime wasn't meditation, my downtime was opening a glass of wine. Okay. Or I was also bulimic. So it was this feeling like not being in control. So I would eat and eat and eat and then make myself sick. So I could release this tension within me because I hadn't been shown by my parents how to release tension.

Emma Fullwood (36:27): You know, what meditation was. I wasn't, you know, show this communication either. I wasn't shown how we are our own medicine. Okay. So both, both a man and a woman, we are our own medicine and that's what I want this podcast to be about. So we come into our, why is woman, if you are a woman listening to this, and if you are a man that's feeling so much tension, so much overwhelm and actually feels like doing a Shirley Valentine, whether you are a man or a woman like disappearing running off and just saying to hell with all this. And now you are living with a woman that is having going through para menopause and what she used to be able to cope with. She now can't. So now it feels even harder to live in the house because your wife or partners also going through para menopause and your daughters are gonna go through their periods or are having their periods.

Emma Fullwood (37:30): And it's like, oh my God. And you actually don't wanna put the key in the door because it just feels just as hard at home as it is stressful at work. So if any of this has resonated with you, this is what putting men in menopause is all about. It's about teaching men and women to come together, to see each other's needs are being met. And the way the ripple effect that this will have is it will ripple across into the next generation. So how amazing is that? Thank you for listening to me and please follow me on social media. I would love, love, love for you to share this podcast. Take a picture, share tag me at the underscore Emma full or act putting men in menopause tag, say, listen to this podcast, share it, share it with your partner. Maybe you are a man listening to this and saying, you know, go and get some Browning points and say, I've just listened to this.

Emma Fullwood (38:37): Wow. I think, you know, I'd love you to listen to it. And vice versa. If you are a woman listening to this, maybe ask your partner to listen to it. Now on that note, if anybody is told you need to listen to this, to understand me, this is what I'm going through, and you do it in quite an aggressive way. They're not gonna listen to it. Okay. Somebody wants people wanna know what's in it for them. We all do like, well, why do I need to listen to it? You know, what's it gonna tell me, like, is it gonna tell me like that I'm a bad, a bad partner and that I need to pull my socks up and this, that, and the other, like, but maybe say, I think, you know, there's something in this for you. This could really bring us together.

Emma Fullwood (39:23): Like I notice that we are struggling with X, Y, Z at the minute, I notice that you are so again, using this criticism sandwich where it starts off with noticing and complimenting them or thanking them or saying how proud you are of them and then saying the need and then followed with with the, the proud and the celebrating them again. Cause nobody is just gonna listen to this podcast. If you say, you need to listen to this, we need to sort our life out. Like, you're just gonna get your back up. Right. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening to quite this long. First long, you can tell I'm from the black country first session. And I look forward to sharing the next session with you.